The First Great Big War

Before the world started numbering its global conflicts, the war in Europe that began on August 1, 1914 when Austria-Hungary declared war on Serbia, was called ‘The Great War” by the many hapless soldiers who fought in it, not World War I. Of course, the word “great” meant “on a grand scale” or “bigger than normal” back then. That kind of thing. Not “wonderful”, as the word “great” is often misused today.

The underlying cause of this so-called “Great War” was the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand, the presumed heir to the throne of the Austro-Hungarian empire. This touchy, rich and spoiled prick was shot and killed by a Serbian assassin in Sarajevo, Yugoslavia on June 28th, 1914. Apparently, this royal jerk had slapped some touchy and defensive Serbian prick beforehand with his royal gloves, an act which, naturally, demanded retribution in the archaic, Old World tradition of vengeance. Of course, this cause-and-effect has never been verified. But it sure sounds like a good reason for Neanderthal thinkers to start a great big war.

What ensued after the declaration of war against Serbia by Austria-Hungary was a war on a scale the world had never seen before. And that was because Germany saw an opportunity to turn this local European conflict into wartime prosperity. Hell, nothing boosts a country’s economy like a long, dragged out war. And World War I was certainly that.

Costing $186 billion (don’t forget, this was between 1914 and 1918, when a dollar was worth 100 cents and not 2 cents) and eventually involving 32 nations, the lives of over 8.5 million people, with 22 million more people wounded, “The Great War” may have been stylish as hell for the British and German officers who fought in this grand exhibition of nationalism (called “patriotism” today) but it was a four-year hell for the rest of the world.

Germany — a nation that needed to be squashed like a bug for its deadly, evil opportunism — would pull a similar stunt in 1939 when it would invade Poland and start World War II, an even greater war that would leave over 52 million people dead worldwide.

Say, is there an Act Three in this great big show?

Axis Legacy of Death

For the second time in the twentieth century an economically and morally bankrupt Germany would declare itself a nation of super people and blame all its woes on the rest of the world and especially on Jews living in Europe and the Soviet Union. This time, Germany had the help of Japan and Italy, two countries whose leaders simply claimed to be God’s gift to the world and the hell with anyone else, including their own people.

This time Germany’s legacy to the rest of the world, with the assistance of Japan and Italy, would be an estimated 52 million people dead worldwide, 6 million of them Jews whose deaths were not easy ones. Germany was a nation that needed to be squashed like a bug. Instead, people still buy their cars, guns and machinery as if nothing had happened. Nothing at all.

But Germany is not alone in its ability to be forgiven for its heinous and massive crimes against humanity. No one seems to remember Pearl Harbor, either, when they go shopping for a new car or a TV. But then, no one is going to stop eating pizza or spaghetti, by the way, and doesn’t everyone want to wear at least one thing with an Armani label before they die?

The good news is that there will probably never be a Third World War as long as the children and grandchildren of mass murderers control companies in the Fortune 500.