Monday, September 03, 2007

The First Great Big War

Before the world started numbering its global conflicts, the war in Europe that began on August 1, 1914 when Austria-Hungary declared war on Serbia, was called ‘The Great War” by the many hapless soldiers who fought in it, not World War I. Of course, the word “great” meant “on a grand scale” or “bigger than normal” back then. That kind of thing. Not “wonderful”, as the word “great” is often misused today.

The underlying cause of this so-called “Great War” was the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand, the presumed heir to the throne of the Austro-Hungarian empire. This touchy, rich and spoiled prick was shot and killed by a Serbian assassin in Sarajevo, Yugoslavia on June 28th, 1914. Apparently, this royal jerk had slapped some touchy and defensive Serbian prick beforehand with his royal gloves, an act which, naturally, demanded retribution in the archaic, Old World tradition of vengeance. Of course, this cause-and-effect has never been verified. But it sure sounds like a good reason for Neanderthal thinkers to start a great big war.

What ensued after the declaration of war against Serbia by Austria-Hungary was a war on a scale the world had never seen before. And that was because Germany saw an opportunity to turn this local European conflict into wartime prosperity. Hell, nothing boosts a country’s economy like a long, dragged out war. And World War I was certainly that.

Costing $186 billion (don’t forget, this was between 1914 and 1918, when a dollar was worth 100 cents and not 2 cents) and eventually involving 32 nations, the lives of over 8.5 million people, with 22 million more people wounded, “The Great War” may have been stylish as hell for the British and German officers who fought in this grand exhibition of nationalism (called “patriotism” today) but it was a four-year hell for the rest of the world.

Germany — a nation that needed to be squashed like a bug for its deadly, evil opportunism — would pull a similar stunt in 1939 when it would invade Poland and start World War II, an even greater war that would leave over 52 million people dead worldwide.

Say, is there an Act Three in this great big show?

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