The first "Gulf War" took place in 1990. Formally known as the "Persian Gulf War", this was the big retirement party U.S. President George Bush the First threw for General Norman Schwarzkopf, Jr., as a reward for a lifetime of distinguished service to his country in the U.S. Army. This great-big desert blowout took up two whole countries in the Middle East, Iraq and Kuwait. Everyone was present at this military shindig except Commander-in-Chief George the First.Back in 1990, George the First was so impressed by "Stormin' Norman" that he let the general plan and execute his own retirement party and then made the U.S. taxpayers pick up the tab. From Operation Desert Shield (the plan made in Saudi Arabia) through Operation Desert Storm (the actual party in Kuwait and Iraq) "Stormin' Norman" tore through Persia like Sherman cut through Georgia on his way to the sea.
That mission (the military operation to find, try and execute Saddam Hussein) would set the
stage for yet another retirement party in 2001. The second "Gulf War" was the big, early-retirement party U.S. President George Bush the Second threw for himself, in case he got impeached early in the game. As Commander in Chief of the U.S. Armed Forces, George the Second missed out on his own retirement party in the Persian Gulf, after lighting his own party candles at New York's World Trade Center on September 11th 2001. Poor Big Bad George II had to watch the whole thing on TV, just like poor Big Bad George I.Some of us are really sick and tired of military retirement parties and we think these parties are more than just warfare concealed. We think they're crimes against humanity and against nature. And we think there ought to be a law against them.
